i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
