oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You know, be my cock's hype man.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
