all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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