but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
