on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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