I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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