you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
