Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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