then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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