once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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