I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
