the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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