Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
