So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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