Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
