I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
