Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
