My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
