Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
