Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
