So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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