I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I love black thongs
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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