Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
