I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
