he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
