why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
