how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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