Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
