i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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