I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
