you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
