Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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