He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have feelings that need drinking.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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