Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
