aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
