Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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