all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
