You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
