I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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