She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
