a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
