I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
