Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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