i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
