Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
