I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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