He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
