Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Randomize
