I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
