This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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