i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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